December – January. Existentialist angst.

Ok, the move is complete. Everything that was originally on Myspace is now here… for better of worse….

 Better by the looks of things though eh?

Before I start though, I think it’s important to mention that this blog comes to you on something of a sad day; Culture 1 Dance festival, Bangkok’s first outdoor dance festival featuring David Morales, Stanton Warriors, John 00 Flemming, Marco V, Brian Cross, a whole load of other people you would be amazed are still doing the rounds, all that Dudesweet malarky (that I still haven’t got round to checking out) and so much else is on today.

But why is that sad? Surely I should be very bloody happy that that’s all happening, and I would be, if I was going. I could blame work, Culture 1 is 4pm – 1 am and I don’t finish work till 6:30 (get home 7:30, shit, shower, shave 8:30, eat dinner 9:00, get down to Bang Na 10:30-ish thereby missing most of it), but I could still see some of what was going on. I could blame the fact (I love that phrase ‘blame the fact’. How can you blame a bloody ‘fact’? Nonsense) that I have nobody to go with again, but after missing Plump DJs that isn’t enough to stop me, although it wouldn’t be all that great all on my own, has to be said. But the real clincher is the fact (there we go again) that I simply don’t have the money. Even doing it on the cheap it’d be 1500 Baht, which shouldn’t be a lot of money, but to me, right now, it is. And now I feel angry and miserable.

It’s a bugger. And it’s also symptomatic of a general trend in my life at the moment. I guess I have an extremely high tolerance for boredom and mentally at least, quite a high pain threshold. I can really get by depriving myself of a lot of fun and excitement, but the couple of years or so, as anyone who had read this blog would be aware, I’ve just been taking the piss in that respect. I mean I just don’t do anything anymore. Enjoying yourself is a vital part of living right? But it just never happens to me. Why is this?

Maybe it’s just because it’s Bangkok. There’s so much temptation on offer the only way to deal with it is burying your head in the sand and trying to ignore it. Waking up knowing you didn’t do anything stupid the night before comes as a relief sometimes, especially when you live somewhere where it’s so easy to do.

Maybe, partly, I’ve just been beaten in to submission by a combination of events, bad luck and no money. It’s tough to keep going when you spend so long at work, you have no mates, no cash and your girlfriend keeps flaking on you when you want to go out for this long.

Oh well. And did you know there’s a dj competition coming up soon over here? Well, without decks and or access to practicing with them, I’m out of it aren’t I? More excitement and good times being waved in your face while you can do nothing about it.

Sorry. lol never blog when you’re feeling pissed off!

So er… yes. Where were we? December. Well, not very exciting I’m afraid. The first couple of weeks were spent doing relatively little here, work dried up and not much happened. Bought all my Christmas presents at Chatuchak in one afternoon. Got to love that place haven’t you? I returned to the UK on the 13th, my little sister’s birthday, via Etihad who are… alright but not nearly as good as Emirates etc. Their music collection has lots of bizarre entries like the Pet Shop Boys and Erasure. Didn’t listen to them.

So I got back on the evening of the 13th, expecting it to be much more of a shock to the system than it really was. Had a nice sleep in my lovely bed, wasn’t capable of a lot else, and woke up the next day, ready to travel up to Manchester for a Team Handsome reunion. The very next day! I was impressed with myself. Four hour train journey, better than I was expecting, met up with Tom and Ed and had a very pleasant time. Met Tom’s new girlfriend and briefly a real-life Frank Gallagher came up to us in a bar and accused us of spreading rumours that he had been sleeping with prostitutes. As if we would muddy the good name of a greasy, drunk, unshaven stranger who came up to us with the intention of starting a fight!

Perhaps unfortunately the chance for Team Handsome to prove themselves on the field of battle was passed over and Frank buggered off. Tom then made a startling revelation about some footballers that would be best left unmentioned on here, and we all laughed. The next day was spent shopping in the day and partying in the night. Fan-fuckin-tastic. By Sunday morning, 22 hours of travelling and a weekend of partying were catching up with me slightly, and by the time I went home I was no longer in a condition to continue functioning as a normal human being, although fortunately this returned a couple of days later.

The rest of my time at home was spent relaxing and preparing for Christmas, which was over very quickly. I got an Mp3 player, but being my maverick self I went for a Creative Zen Stone Plus (think that’s all of it) as opposed to an Ipod. It’s already threatening me with not working but otherwise very good.

After Christmas I met up with Bob, Simon and Andrew, who I don’t think I’ve seen in a good 5 years and it was really ace to see them all doing well for themselves and catch up on old times. Hopefully this time we’ll be able to keep in touch using the wonders of Facebook and our mutual love of rubbish movies.

New Years completely fell through in an appallingly typical way, but there was some good that peversely came out of the situation. I spent the evening at home with the parents and my little sister. We went for an Indian, I had lamb peshwari which I now know makes you fart. A lot. But flatulence aside it was really nice to spend the time with the family, and wake up on New Years Day in my own bed at a reasonable hour not having spent any money and not being rediculously hungover.

The next few days were spent, well, faffing about really, before I made an almost entirely uneventful trip back to Thailand. Unfortunately the last leg of the flight was full of people from all over northern Europe with colds and flu, so I was afflicted with a terrible throat infection that requires all sorts of prescription drugs that cost way more than the 400 Baht my piss-take medical insurance will pay for.

Since then… well… nothing. Nothing at all. The other day I got to work at 10am for my first class – the next one being 2-4pm and the last one 7-8:30. Of course half an hour beforehand the middle class cancelled leaving me with a gobsmacking 7 hour gap (in total) in my working day. By that stage I didn’t really have the time or the inclination to go all the way home and come back again. A boring fucking day like I have never known, that was.

And today a similar thing has happened. Just to leave me with more time to think about my woes and mock me with the thought of the fun I might have known. God I’m depressed… lol.

 Anyway, that’s things as they are up to now. Hopefully they’ll get better soon eh?

Mat